Alternate Ending for the Wheel of Time
by Linali
Summary: an alternate ending for the wheel of time. Warning: Rand-bashing, Elayne bashing, and a few other characters bashing...


Alternate ending for the Wheel of Time  
  
WARNING: This is a complete joke, okay? If you guys aren't looking for a humorous fanfic, go look at something else, 'cause this is just my wonderful sense of humour kicking in.you'll see what I mean ;-)  
  
The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose in the Halls of Shayol Ghul. It was not the beginning, but it was A beginning.  
  
Yeah, like we all believe that. There's a beginning and an end to everything, but who really cares? That's not what we're here to talk about. Here's the way the Wheel of Time series MIGHT END:  
  
Nyneave scowled at him,  
  
"Rand, you have to battle the Dark One, you are the Only Hope. We've been working so hard to get you to this point!"  
  
"What if I don't want to?"  
  
"Rand al'Thor! I remember when you were still in diapers and I used to paddle your bottom. You will go into Shayol Ghul and battle the Dark One and you will do it NOW."  
  
Rand got up his courage and walked over to the crowd,  
  
"My name is Rand al'Thor and I am the Dragon Reborn. I have trained hard with my Asha'man planning for this day. I am the hope of salvation, and I will destroy you! Your efforts were thwarted by my predecessor and once again they will be thwarted! The Light shall conquer the Dark and the world will be one again! On the slopes of Dragonmount I was born, and I did all that the Prophecies spoke of. I have broken the Aiel and saved them, I have united all the countries, I AM THE DRAGON REBORN! And now.I want my mommy!" he wailed, crying,  
  
"I don't wanna go fight the Dark One!"  
  
Min, and Elayne both patted him consolingly,  
  
"There there," Min said. Aviendha just smiled and crossed her arms,  
  
"I always knew he was too soft to go through with it," she said. Elayne shook her head,  
  
"That's okay, Rand, you can just stay with us!"  
  
Rand took one glance at them and went running.  
  
"NOOO! I'd rather fight the Dark One then stay with you!" he cried, running into to Blight. Immediately he was attacked by Trollocs and was killed except they left one arm with a dragon on it to show everyone that the Dragon Reborn was dead. Perrin stepped into the Blight, saw that, and ran to Faile,  
  
"Faile he's dead!" he said. She patted his head,  
  
"Good boy, now, let's go put the Dark One back in his cage," she said. So they all went to Shayol Ghul and stood looking at the Dark One. They'd killed all of the Black Ajah so all of the Aes Sedai were now standing in Shayol Ghul. "Unfortunately", before they could Still the Dark One Min and Elayne were killed and Aviendha was once again a cool character because she stopped fawning over the now dead Rand. So the Aes Sedai stilled the Dark One and Faile pushed him back inside his little cage while the Asha'man helped the Aes Sedai make twenty million new Seals that kept him in. Then Lan and Nyneave went off to really enjoy their honeymoon, Aviendha met a really cute Asha'man and eventually had four kids, two boys, two girls, with him who could all channel. Moiraine came back, and told everyone that she had found out the reason Semirhage and Lanfear hated each other was because they were really sisters and it was sibling rivalry. It turned out also that the Dark One was their dad and they were currently grounded to their rooms because they'd been fighting again. Egwene and Gawyn got married and she started being a nicer person after that because her husband told her to stop being so nasty to everyone. Faile and Perrin had nine kids and ruled over Saldaea and a few other lands that they decided to take since everything was going through chaos with Rand dead. Moiraine became Queen of Andor and Cairhien because she did have some claim to both thrones and besides she was kewl so she could take them. Lan and Nyneave took most of the Borderlands and Tarabon because they felt like it and the flag of Malkier was raised once again. All in all it ended up pretty well unless you like Rand, Elayne, or Min. Oh yeah, Galad and Berelain got married because they're both freaks but I just didn't have the heart to kill them off too. Mat and the Daughter of the Nine Moons lived happily in the Seanchan lands and she taught him tablemanners and stuff and now he's practically her lap dog. Morgase and Thom got married and lived together happily, even if Morgase did have to give up the throne of Andor to Moiraine, because she rather liked traveling around with Thom being a gleeman anyway. Moiraine found a really cute new Warder and she's pretty happy too. So yeah, the Wheel Weaves as the Wheel wills, and right now, it's kinda willing me to stop chattering. Hope you enjoyed at least some of this. For those of you who are Rand/Min/Elayne/Galad/Berelain fans, sorry I dissed your favs but I have no particular fondness for them. Oh yeah, and Melaine did finally have her two girls that she named Min and Egwene. 


End file.
